


1'm 50rry

by MageOfLight (orphan_account)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, M/M, Pre-brain damage Mituna, Sadstuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-07
Updated: 2013-03-15
Packaged: 2017-12-04 13:35:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/711325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/MageOfLight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mituna never was able to get across to his teammates just how much trouble everyone was in. Now it's too late and he has to save them all... though not before saying goodbye to the people that are important to him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. WHY 1 B3C4M3 4 G0D

**Author's Note:**

> Muse bit me in the arse for this, and I wrote all four chapters in one shot. The story will follow Mituna as he says his final farewells to his moirail and matesprit. From there, you'll just have to stick around and see what happens.

Mituna Captor sighed quietly as he stared out into nothing, new wings flicking behind him. His secret. He wouldn't tell anyone what he'd done. How he'd followed Meenah's _very_ public example in reaching God Tier. He was the Heir of Doom, fated to quietly take everything onto his own shoulders. Even though he'd tried to warn them, they wouldn't listen. Even Latula had laughed at him, and that hurt worse than anything anyone else could do.  
  
Slowly, he stood, letting his wings flick out for the first, and last time, carrying him in his first non-psionics driven flight. After this, no more wings. He had to keep this quiet. Had to keep from Latula, at the very least, how he'd fearlessly plunged his own weapons into his body, killing himself in order to reach this new level... all so he'd have the power to save them. So he could kill himself once again in a Heroic move to save everyone else from a brutal death. There was nothing else he could do.  
  
Psionics surrounded him, his wings vanishing, hidden away as his, admittedly quite tacky body suit replaced his god garb. He only wore it to annoy Porrim, but the material it was made out of was protective, had softened blows to his rail-thin body on more than one occasion. It would do in a pinch. Wearing it, maybe he could survive long enough to save everyone. The yellowblood could only hope. For the sakes of his matesprit and moirail, and his moirail's cute kitten matesprit at the very least. He'd do this. He had to.  
  
For now, though, he just wanted to spend some time with his beloved ones. "Latula, Kurloz, I'm sorry," he murmured softly under his breath, even as he flew on to find them. He could never apologize to their faces, after all. Just as they never believed a doom sayer word from his mouth, they would never understand his apology, nor his farewells. Even as he pitied them all the more deeply for it, it hurt just as deep. Unsoothable wounds to his heart that they'd never know.


	2. G00DBY3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit longer than the intro chapter, and hopefully more enjoyable. I decided to run Kurloz and Meulin without injuries, just because it was easier for me to deal with.

He'd go to Kurloz first. He'd been so enthralled with his matespritship with Meulin that he'd not even picked up on Mituna's intentions to harm himself. That was a good thing. Spending time with the two of them would allow himself to calm his mind to the point where he could go be with Latula without her picking up on things either. It wasn't hard to find them. Kurloz's hive was their favourite location lately, if only because it was easier for Mituna to go there than it was for him to go to Meulin's. Kurloz liked to be there for his moirail when Mituna felt the need to see him.  
  
Still, he apparently hadn't noticed Mituna's visits becoming less and less as Mituna distanced himself. This would be the last time. Plastering a smile on his face, he knocked on Kurloz's door and waited. Meulin's chipper face came into view as she opened the door, her hair tousled as if fingers has just been tangled in it. "Mituna, hello!" she chirped, stepping back and opening the door wide as if she and her matesprit hadn't just been engaging in slopping makeouts. She was sweet like that, though she coddled him a bit too much for his liking. She was the mate of his mate, and he supposed that gave her coddling priviledges, but that didn't mean he liked it.  
  
Even so, he chuckled softly, thanking the feline-like girl as he stepped past her, leaving her to close the door as he ventured into the lounge block. Kurloz was settled on his couch, splayed back with his shirt missing and his facepaint smudged, and Mituna couldn't help the real bought of laughter that spilled from his lips. Kurloz looked ridiculous like that, and when he just smiled lazily and beckoned Mituna closer, the yellowblood obliged, sitting next to Kurloz. He didn't want to talk, though, and the indigoblood got that, just slinging his arm around his moirail's shoulders, allowing the shorter troll to snuggle in under his arm.  
  
Meulin, almost predictably, did not intrude, and Mituna was glad for it as he started to doze against Kurloz's cool body, just taking comfort from the fact that Kurloz was there, one arm wrapped around him, the other gently petting his hair, stroking his horns, soothing little sparks of stress, anxiety, and all out fear from him. He didn't want to die. Not really. He wanted to stay like this, in the protective arms of his moirail, or in Latula's sturdy embrace. That this was goodbye was painful, but there was literally nothing he could do about it. He didn't have long, so he'd take what comfort he could out of this. Kurloz would be fine. He had Meulin. Latula... she was tough. She'd be alright.  
  
\----  
  
He found himself waking to quiet conversation, soothing murmurs pulling him gently from sleep, even as the two conversing over his head were trying to be quiet for his sake, sensing he needed the rest. A quiet giggle pulled him from the depths of sleep completely and he cracked a groggy smile, opening his eyes to look up at Kurloz and Meulin. Meulin was purched on the arm of the couch, her tiny frame leaning against Kurloz as she tidied up his facepaint, smoothing smudges from his skin and replacing it with fresh paint. Huh. He didn't know that the two of them had progressed fare enough in their relationship that Kurloz would allow her to touch his paints. That fact made him more confident that he was right in deciding Meulin would be able to help Kurloz through his death and he smiled a little more for it.  
  
"Oh, did we wake you?" Meulin asked, pausing as she noticed Mituna looking up at them, smiling at the intimate moment. Her green cheeks revealed how embarrassed she was that she'd been caught, but she was still smiling.  
  
He shook his head, laughing slightly. "No. I didn't mean to have fallen asleep, anyway," Mituna replied, pulling away slightly. "I should get going. Thanks, Kurloz," he added, standing.  
  
Kurloz frowned slightly, but let Mituna go. "Going to see Latula, then?" he asked, but didn't make a move to stop him as Mituna shot another smile back at him with a nod. There was something wrong, something different about his moirail, the way he held himself, his gait as he walked away, shoulders set firm, head held high. He was resolute, had decided something that he'd never intended to speak to Kurloz about. The thought hurt a little, wondering if Mituna didn't trust him as much as he'd thought. But then, maybe it was something he could only talk to Latula about. Perhaps he'd been planning something special for her and didn't want to be embarrassed by talking to Kurloz about it... especially with his ship-happy kitten sitting right there. He relaxed, a smile turning up his lips as he nodded in return. "Have fun, then," he said, smiling lazily.  
  
Mituna relaxed, nodding again and turning to leave, stepping out and leaving the matesprits to their own devices. He'd been worried that Kurloz had figured him out when the taller had frowned like that, but then he'd gone back to smiling lazily and the momentary fear had leached from him. No, he'd probably just been worried for a moment before deciding that his sudden departure was more due to Meulin than lack of wanting to be there. The thought settled his mind again as he lifted himself in flight once more to find Latula. He didn't have much time with her. The voices of the immenently deceased were screaming louder in his head than ever. "Goodbye, Kurloz," he whispered, taking one last look at the hive below him before rocketing off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the slight shift into Kurloz's point of view. I didn't actually mean to do that, but there's no way of editing it without mucking up the flow pretty badly.


	3. 1'M 50RRY, L47UL4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hints at intimacy in this chapter, plus playful teasing. Nothing that should raise the rating as far as I'm aware, though. Feel free to let me know if I should be raising it.

Latula Pyrope was a lot harder to find. As one of the few that took the game with anything resembling seriousness, she was always nook deep in quests, sometimes teamed up with Meenah and Aranea, sometimes partnered with him, and sometimes even Kankri, though Mituna hated it when Kankri and Latula were teamed up. Even with Kankri's supposed celibacy, he always felt like Kankri was trying to encroach on his red territory with half-hearted flirting and admitting to knowing far too much about Latula than a person supposedly interested in only friendship ought to know about another person. It pissed him off. Well, maybe Kankri would be Latula's pillar of support after Mituna was gone. That was the only thing that kept Mituna from physically ramming Kankri's nubby-horned head up his nook where it already metaphorically was.  
  
He sighed, shaking off his thoughts as he searched through the lands. When he finally located her, it was just as she was heading into his own hive, covered in muck from who knows what, her skateboard left outside by a hose that was still connected to his hive. With a soft laugh, he watched as she let herself in, her voice spilling outside as she called into the depths to see if he was there, unaware that he was hovering outside. He waited until the door closed before landing and setting to cleaning off her board for her. Once that was done, he stepped into the hive, another chuckle bubbling free as he followed the trail of brown-black foot prints and liquidy drips all the way to his ablution block where he could hear the shower running, steam already billowing from the open door. No fear on that one, clearly.  
  
Stepping silently past, he went straight into his respite block to dig out one of Latula's spare outfits, from the times when she'd come over with the intent of staying the day and then "forget" to take her clothing home with her. Of course, it had all been on purpose. He knew that. She knew that. They both pretended it was nothing but accidental... and when he did it in return? Well, that was all an accident, too. There was something incredibly nice about the casual intimacy of having the other's clothing mixed in with his own. He loved it. The trust and casualness in their matespritship. He changed his clothing to a simple t-shirt and jeans before taking the fresh change of clothing to the ablution block for Latula.  
  
"Don't you think it's a bit rude to use someone's ablution trap without them being there?" he asked, laughter in his tone as he stepped into the block, interrupting and startling Latula. She jumped, squeaking and nearly falling on her ass before bursting out laughing and peeking out to shoot Mituna a sassy smile and a wink, causing him to blush slightly.  
  
"Didn't think you'd mind too much. I mean, you've got a rad gamer girl naked and wet in your ablution trap," she chimed, grinning wide enough to show all her pointed shark teeth at once. She knew he didn't give a single fuck. They did it all the time, showering and resting at whoever's hive was closest to them at any given time, and the thought had him fighting back a burst of pain.  
  
"It's a shame I had a shower this morning and thus am all clean, huh?" he asked teasingly, forcing his thoughts to the fact that yeah, his extremely attractive matesprit was there, naked in front of him, openly teasing him just as he was teasing her back. That pout was far too cute for it's own good and he laughed. Latula had a way of making his heart soar and crash all at the same time just by _being_ there. It felt amazing, yet hurt horribly at the same time. He had to be a masochist. That was the only explanation for this whole situation.  
  
"Well, I guess we'll just have to _fix_ that, now won't we?" Latula purred, turning off the water and stepping out of the trap. Mituna suddenly had no doubt in his mind that the last of his time was going to be spent making this naked, gorgeous girl in front of him feel amazing.  
  
\-------------------  
  
Of course, he'd been right, and now she was sleeping next to him, passed out from sheer bliss overload. He'd put everything he could spare into her, and now? He was out of time. Carefully, he lifted her with his psionics, moving her to his recuperacoon after cleaning her up. She'd wake up alone, and probably be annoyed with him, but hopefully, she'd never find his body. It was the last thing he wanted.  
  
Once he'd made sure she was settled, he cleaned himself up, pulled on his body suit, then turned and left, headed for a difficult, but hopefully not impossible battle. Just like with Kurloz, he shot one final look at the hive he was leaving behind, a whispered farewell on his tongue, forcing it out before he choked on it, tears in his eyes that were dashed away as he turned, flying fast and hard to his death.


	4. 1'm sorry, m1tun4.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is from Latula's POV and may or may not deviate from canon. I can't remember what is or is not canon as for as this part goes and I couldn't be assed to look while my muses were going full speed.

Waking alone had been one thing, but this. This was something else entirely. Latula Pyrope had been in no way expecting this when she went hunting for her AWOL matesprit. His disappearing after pailing was such an out of character thing for him, and the note he'd left for her had scared her out of her mind ( _"1'M 50RRY, 7UL4." written in alternating red and blue ink, obviously thought out, but her matesprit not knowing what to say. What was going through that super smart, socially awkward head of his? Why was he apologizing?_ ) Of course, she'd chased him. She wasn't sure how long she'd been out, but the flashes of red and blue light on the horizon when she'd stepped out of his hive told of something that she'd been afraid to acknowladge. He was saying goodbye.  
  
She rushed, feeling slow, like she should be able to go faster. Wished she was Time, rather than Mind. If she could stop time, get there faster, maybe she could save him. He was splintering under the strain of flaring his psionics like he was. She could sense it, even from this far. She could sense each fracture, each crack that widened even as she reached, aching to wrap his mind in a steel cocoon of safety, a protective net that would hold him together. Her power couldn't reach, though. She wasn't close enough. Maybe if she'd been brave enough to follow Meenah's example, she'd have been strong enough to reach, but she wasn't. She acted tough, but she was truly a coward, unable to do what it really took to win.  
   
By the time she _was_ close enough, it was too late. She felt him shattering. Saw his psionics guttering. Whatever he'd been fighting though, it was dead, obliterated under the fierce energy of his power. He'd doomed it, destroying it as much with his psionics as his aspect. She could only watch in horror as he fell, unable to hold himself in the air any longer, having expended himself to throughly. She raced, aching to catch him, at least. She was close enough now to see his eyes were closed, sense his blank mind, weak flickers of red and blue energy slowing his decent enough that she could see the fall wouldn't kill him. She was too slow to even catch him, screaming his name despite it all.  
  
Reaching his side, she carefully turned him over. Blood was caked on his face, clumping his messy, shaggy hair. Wiping the blood away carefully revealed lines of split skin around his eyes, up into his hairline. The damage was severe and would likely scar, but she could see that he'd somehow, against the odds, survived the complete expendure of his psionics as well as the fall. He wasn't even sparking anymore, though he was still breathing. Crying quietly, she carefully, gently lifted him into her arms, leaving her skateboard behind. No, she needed to be careful with him, more than she needed to rush. Jarring him too much now might cause even more damage, and she couldn't risk that.  
  
Mituna was everything to her. Her heart, soul, her very being had become so tightly wrapped up in the yellowblood. Even if he was damaged beyond repair, she couldn't let him go. She'd take care of him. Nurse him back to health. Maybe, if she tried hard enough, she could piece together the shattered remains of his mind as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter to go. I'll probably post it in the next day or so.


End file.
